Fantasist’s Scroll

Fun, Fiction and Strange Things from the Desk of the Fantasist.

9/15/2006

Read Banned Books for FREE!

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Rat which is in the wee hours.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Now, this may not be your idea of fun…

Personally?  I love to read and times are a little tough right now, so reading fantabulous writing for free rates as big fun for me.  Also, I love thumbing my nose at authority.  So, if I can combine those two things, I would be in literary hog heaven!

Oh, wait, I can!  All I have to do is go to Google BookSearch’s  Banned Book list!  Then I can find great literature that was banned, or temporarily challenged, by small-minded, bigoted censors trying to think for me!!  Yea!

Seriously, this is fun for me and, hey, it’s Friday, so what else are you going to do?

4/7/2006

Geek Pickup Lines, Part 4

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Rat which is in the wee hours.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, fourth edition, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny:

Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 4
11. I have so much love to give you’ll have to pipe it through more.
10. Did you make a Google Bomb? Whatever I search for, it’s you I find.
9. Do you work for a TelCom? Because I bet you’d be good at pulling cable.
8. I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up.
7. Would you like to play Scrabble with me? I am tired of playing with myself.
6. You compute me.
5. Girl, I wish I was your differential, because then I’d be touching all your curves.
4. But enough about me, let’s talk about mu.
3. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves.
2. You’ve stolen the ASCII to my heart.
1. You must’ve been made by Intel to be that hot!

And, just as a side note, if you’re in Houston, female, over the age of twenty-one and any of these would work on you, drop me a line! ;)

1/22/2005

Free Porn Alternatives

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Rat which is in the wee hours.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Okay, so it occurred to me that there had to be a better way.
Yeah, sure, I could talk about the evils of free porn until I’m blue in the face. I could even rant about how terrible it is to manipulate searchengines. Instead, I’m going to try and do it. Again.
Yes, again. I did it once back in 2000/2001 to get my other site ranked so highly on Google for the search terms “CNE resume” that it was the number one hit. I did all sorts of crazy things, not the least of which was start a blog, incidentally. One thing I did was look at both the Google Zeitgeist and the Yahoo Buzz Index and try to use those terms in my site. So, for instance, according to Google’s Zeitgeist, I should talk about: how I felt about the Golden Globes and who won; the fact that Monday was Martin Luther King Jr. Day; what Teri Hatcher was wearing at the Golden Globes; who Teri Polo is and what she wore at the Golden Globes; what NASA has thrown into space lately; what “naughtiness” Prince Harry has been up to over in the UK; detailed specs on the iPod Shuffle; the super-model antics of Naomi Campbell; the fact that Mariska Hargitay also won a Golden Globe; and how the movie “Elektra” was doing in the box office. As you can see, that first hit, the Golden Globe Awards, was a really popular one, since it was repeated in, or was effected by, several later searches.
Last week, I should have been talking about: Amber Frey, the adulterous whore who was banging Scott Peterson; the terrible damage done by the tsunami in India; how terrible it is that Ashlee Simpson was caught lip-synching; Delta Airlines for some reason; the Weather Channel coverage of that tsunami in India; Heidi Klum, because it’s always a good time to talk about Ms. Klum (and she got married to Seal); NFL player Randy Moss, presumably because he sprained his ankle; the Orange Bowl, because it’s still football season; the fact that Brad Pitt is single again; and all the cool concept cars at the Detroit Auto Show. Crazy stuff, right?

Well, according to Yahoo Buzz Index, I should have talked about some very different things this week. If I wanted to get Yahoo hits, I should have talked about: OJ Simpson’s daughter, Sydney Simpson, getting arrested; Playboy Playmate Alicia Rickter, for obvious, pornographic reasons; those nuts over at Jibjab, who made another hit animation; Enter Location, because, uh, people were travelling a lot?; actress Elisabeth Harnois, possibly for the Golden Globes again?; O.J. Simpson, because his daughter got arrested, of course; the fact that Julian Ozanne got married to Gillian Anderson and no one knows who he is, but everyone knows her from the X-files; anything and everything about actress Lucy Liu, just because, she’s Lucy Liu; the Tennesse-based music and arts festival, Bonnaroo; “How We Do” almost anything, from the sound of it; eating “Breakfast and Brunch”? Or is that more travelling stuff?; how cheap Costco Wholesale pricing is; soap-opera star Annie Parisse, most likely because she moved on to something better; the fact that Japan had another big earthquake; and Jimjab.com, which is most likely a mistake for “jibjab.com”.

Wow, those are totally different things, aren’t they? Are people who use those two different searchengines that different? Have I been losing out by optimizing for Google?
Oh, I don’t know, but I think I’m going to go have a bit of a lay-down. This whole experience has been exhausting.
(And, yes, I’ve posted this same thing on my other blog, the Diary of a Network Geek, for the same reason as the last post.)

Free Porn Magic

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Rat which is in the wee hours.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

WHAT?!?
What the devil am I doing talking about free porn on this very non-adult blog? Simple, talking about free porn is the fastest way to get hits. Sad, but true. In fact, John Dvorak has written an article about this called Free Porn Magic For You.
I used to think that the Internet had improved with age, that we’d finally gotten past all the free porn, or “pron” if you’re one of the hip, out-of-work webdesigners from the 90′s, and had moved on to something more meaningful. I guess I was wrong. If you read the article, you’ll see that what holds true from the earlier days of the Internet still, sadly, holds true today. People are looking for free porn on the Internet. Now, the hits I generally get via searches on Google, and company, aren’t filled with porn terms, movies, or “performers”, so I’m not really expecting a lot of traffic boost, but, well, it can’t hurt. Can it? You know, I’m already starting to feel a bit slimy with all that.
Damn, how else can I boost ratings on this site? For pity’s sake, I know hundreds of people hit this site on a daily and weekly basis, but I have only one sad, lonely Bloglines subscriber. Just one. Did I mention that Bloglines is a free service? And they have nice, FREE tools that let you keep up with your favorite blogs? (Aw, c’mon, subscribe to the Fantasist’s Scroll with Bloglines!) Oh, I suppose I could always just produce more content here. Yeah, that might work, too. But, well, I’d rather go with the sure thing. So, for those of you who are websurfers that got here looking for free porn, I apologize. I was just using you to drive my stats up. I hope you don’t hate me too much.
(And, yes, I talked about this on my other blog, the Diary of a Network Geek. So sue me!)

6/26/2004

Updates!

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Rat which is in the wee hours.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Notice that I’ve been a little behind in posting?

Well, for that one person who reads this blog, I’ve been busy! As I mentioned in my other blog I’ve changed jobs which has been a little stressful. And, I’ve been Google spammed, so that’s been taking up a bunch of time. But, I hope the new job will allow me more time, thanks to less travel-time on my commute, to write, so it’ll be worth it. I hope. But, I do promise to do better on keeping this blog up to date.

5/14/2004

Free Association

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Rat which is in the wee hours.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Okay, ready?

Here’s a website called Googlism that’s a Google based free association engine. You just fill in your name, or a friend’s name, or whatever, and go for it. You’ll see all kinds of free association associations that Google makes with your input.
My wife found this endlessly entertaining. And, I can see how it might be good to generate starting sentences for a writing exercise.

Anyway, it’s Friday and, if you’re week has been anything like mine, you probably could use a creative stimulation break. So, go have fun!

3/16/2004

Top 10?

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Rat which is in the wee hours.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

I’m a “Top 10 Conlanger”?

Well, according to the Wikipedia, yes, I am. That’s really interesting to me, since I don’t actually have any conlangs at the moment. Apparently, they’re basing this ranking on hits in Google, which, of course, means that I am, in fact, in the “Top 10″. Mainly for the free tools and such that I have here for conlangers. Still, it’s a bit, well, odd to me that I’m in the “Top 10″ list of anything, much less conlanging…
It’s kind of cool, actually.
Oh, my resources are all at this page. Enjoy them!

12/18/2002

Save Wil Wheaton!

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Rat which is in the wee hours.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Save Wil Wheaton!

I saw Wil Wheaton on the Screen Savers last night and was very impressed. I think for a lot of us, poor Wil is sort of frozen in time as Wesley Crusher from Star Trek. But, he’s really a whole lot more.
First of all, he’s done a lot more than just Star Trek, of course. He’s really quite an accomplished actor.
Secondly, he’s not the kid I think so many of us percieved him to be. He’s actually pretty cool. And, unlike a lot of stars, he has a fairly good sense of where he fits in the world. He can even make jokes about himself!

Last night they looked at Google search stats for the past year and someone made a comment about how so many people had searched for Will Wheaton, the jazz musician. Megan Morrone, from the Screen Savers, made the joke that everyone should go out and search for our very own Wil Wheaton and improve his listings for next year. Wil joked that he was sure “everyone” had time to worry about his search listings on Google.
Well, when I got done laughing at his self-depreciating humor, I thought, “well, why not?” And, indeed, why shouldn’t we all help Wil out? All it would take is for everyone who has a blog or web page that enjoys Wil Wheaton to put a link to Google like this: Wil Wheaton or like this: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=wil+wheaton That way, every time a spider hits our pages, it should, in theory, hit Google and do that search. Viola! Increased search hits for Wil Wheaton! Hey, why not? It could be fun to use their own spiders against them!

Note: I’m a lazy bastard. I copied this directly from my blog at RyuMaou.com. Now you know.


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