Fantasist's Scroll

Fun, Fiction and Strange Things from the Desk of the Fantasist.


Things Skippy Can’t Do

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Hare which is terribly early in the morning.
The moon is Waxing Gibbous

Actually, to be more specific, 213 Things Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The U.S. Army.

I cannot believe I’ve never posted this as a Friday Fun Link. This is a list of 213 things that a soldier was either specifically told he could not do, or that he heard another soldier told that he could not do. And, it’s funny. Every last one of the 213 things is funny. In fact, they get more funny the more you consider them.
Some of my favorites include:
7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.
44. I am not the atheist chaplain.
83. Must not start any SITREP (Situation Report) with “I recently had an experience I just had to write you about….”
179. On Army documents, my race is not “Other”.
203. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is a bad long term goal to give the re-enlistment NCO.

Now, it’s Friday, so why not go read the rest? And follow the links he’s got there to support the troops. They need it now as much as they ever have.
Have a great Friday!


Post T-Day Fun Links

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Sheep which is mid-afternoon.
The moon is Waxing Crescent

Thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you?

Nope, but I was so in a turkey haze that I had a hard time coming up with good links.
Speaking of turkey, if you have enough leftovers, you can try Leftover Turkey Gumbo. It sounds delicious! And, next year, if you’re into killing your own, try Season Shot, brought to you via Boing Boing. Yes, it’s actually seasoning filled shotgun shells. No idea how well they work, but I love the idea.

I suppose I should mention my host’s delicious, hot, spicy nuts from yesterday, especially since his fiance insisted that I try them, but, I think I’ll wait for the recipe before I share.
Until then, I’m off to the movies!  (I know, I know, I duplicated this from Diary of a Network Geek, but I’m running late!)


Geek Pickup Lines, Part 3

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Snake which is mid-morning.
The moon is Waxing Crescent

I know, I was a little late with this today, but I’ve been busy. With a girl. Yeah, I know, who would have thought, right? Not having the same kind of luck? Then, my geeky readers, I’ve got just the thing for you: The top eleven Geek Pickup lines, third edition, as stolen from BBSpot, for your Friday afternoon funny:

Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 3
11. I’m attracted to you so much that scientists will begin to doubt the Theory of Relativity.
10. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this?
9. Resistance is futile.
8. No matter how I sort things, you’ll always be first.
7. No, that’s not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing.
6. I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle.
5. I’d switch to emacs for you.
4. You put the SPARC in my workstation.
3. If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it.
2. We’re like SLI. We’re great alone, but we’d be so much better together.
1. You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.

Hey, they just keep on getting better, don’t they? Well, there are more coming, but, I like doling them out over time. You know, to build the anticipation!
Happy Friday!

"To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up."
   --Ogden Nash


Today is your birthday!

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Tiger which is terribly early in the morning.
The moon is Waxing Gibbous

Well, it’s my birthday, too!
No, seriously, it’s my birthday. And, look, I could copy and paste everything I wrote in my other blog about this blessed event, but I’m too lazy, so I’ll just link to it.

"If it falls to your lot to be a dishwasher, wash like Michaelangelo painted pictures, like Shakespeare wrote poetry, like Beethoven composed music... wash so well that all the host of heaven and earth will have to pause and say, 'There lived a great dishwasher who did his job well.'"
   --Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.


What are you looking for?

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Tiger which is terribly early in the morning.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Why do people search for some of this stuff?
Okay, I get why people would be looking for “lucy liu porn” or “mariska hargitay porn”, but what makes them think they’re going to find it here? Last month, my number one hit search term was “lucy liu porn”. Doesn’t anyone search for “fantasy cartography” and find my site anymore? Or “conlang generator”? Always back to the porn. Sadly, it does increase hits and my Googlerank. Ah, well, there’s no accounting for it, I guess. As P.T. Barnum once said, “No one ever got rich overestimating the American people.”

"One day you'll love me as I have loved you. One day you'll think of me as I've thought of you. One day you'll cry for me as I've cried for you. And one day you'll want me and I won't want you."


Oh, By The Way…

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Hare which is in the early morning.
The moon is Waning Gibbous

Did I mention that I’ve turned comments back on?
I probably haven’t but since my last upgrade to WordPress v1.5, I’ve got a new comment moderation system that kills 99.999% of all spam. So, I went and re-enabled comments. Not that I post that much that folks would comment on here, but still, it’s the thought. All of which means that both of you reading this blog can comment now. 🙂

Powered by WordPress
Any links to sites selling any reviewed item, including but not limited to Amazon, may be affiliate links which will pay me some tiny bit of money if used to purchase the item, but this site does no paid reviews and all opinions are my own.