Fantasist's Scroll

Fun, Fiction and Strange Things from the Desk of the Fantasist.

1/13/2003

Here There Be Dragons

Filed under: — Posted by the Fantasist during the Hour of the Hare which is in the early morning.
The moon is Waxing Gibbous

What is it about dragons?

Last week, I watched a really mediocre movie on the SciFi channel called “Dragon Fighter“. It wasn’t that the acting was bad because I expected that. I mean, an action adventure movie about dragons being brought back to life? And the dragons breathe fire? No, I wasn’t expecting Lawrence Olivier. But, I was hoping that the dragons would be good. Alas, they weren’t.

First of all, the dragons were huge. I mean, these things were the size of a Lear jet. Now, that is a really, really big predator. Which means, it needs a lot to eat, right? But, they never really showed how this thing ate. It just kept snacking on scrawny, little humans. Not once did these things go for a nice, juicy cow or even a goat. Nope, ate exculsively humans that were shooting at it, in fact. Go figure. If my lunch were shooting at me, I’d start a new diet!
Then, there was the fact that it breathed actual fire. Okay, that’s not so bad, but they never explained it at all! They never even tried!! It was just “Oh, it’s a dragon, so it breathes fire. Everyone knows that!” What a joke! At least Reign of Fire did better than that!
And, also, there was the way the darn thing looked. The effects were just horrid. It didn’t even look like a good rubber suit, much less like a lizard. At least Godzilla has some kitsch value! I could have forgiven all the rest if the effects had been any good.

Why is it, I wondered while watching this lackluster film, that dragons are always so huge? I mean, think about it, a 425 pound lion is going to make a mess of the average person. Imagine a 500 pound lizard with acidic, poisonous drool that can fly. Even if it was land-bound, that could tear apart a pre-gunpowder civilization. The komodo dragon is a nasty enough beast, and it’s real!
This is what I was talking about in my entries about building a more realistic monster. These dragons weren’t even close to real and, frankly, I’m much more frightened by the real komodo dragons!

So, now I guess I’ll have to write a story about more realistic dragons. But, I can’t duplicate what Anne Mcaffrey did with Pern. I’m not sure how I’l do that, yet, but at least I know what not to do now!
Well, off to work!

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